Lessons from (and for) colleagues - and, implicitly, how NOT to get on

I have had excellent colleagues both at my day job and, especially, in Debian over the last thirty-odd years. Several have attempted to give me good advice - others have been exemplars. People retire: sadly, people die. What impression do you want to leave behind when you leave here?

Belatedly, I've come to realise that obduracy, sheer bloody mindedness, force of will and obstinacy will only get you so far. The following began very much as a tongue in cheek private memo to myself a good few years ago. I showed it to a colleague who suggested at the time that I should share it to a wider audience.

SOME ADVICE YOU MAY BENEFIT FROM

Personal conduct

• Never argue with someone you believe to be arguing idiotically - a dispassionate bystander may have difficulty telling who's who.
• You can't make yourself seem reasonable by behaving unreasonably
• It does not matter how correct your point of view is if you get people's backs up
• They may all be #####, @@@@@, %%%% and ******* - saying so out loud doesn't help improve matters and may make you seem intemperate.
  

 Working with others

• Be the change you want to be and behave the way you want others to behave in order to achieve the desired outcome.
• You can demolish someone's argument constructively and add weight to good points rather than tearing down their ideas and hard work and being ultra-critical and negative - no-one likes to be told "You know - you've got a REALLY ugly baby there"
• It's easier to work with someone than to work against them and have to apologise repeatedly.
• Even when you're outstanding and superlative, even you had to learn it all once. Be generous to help others learn: you shouldn't have to teach too many times if you teach correctly once and take time in doing so.
  

Getting the message across

• Stop: think: write: review: (peer review if necessary): publish.
• Clarity is all: just because you understand it doesn't mean anyone else will.
• It does not matter how correct your point of view is if you put it across badly.
• If you're giving advice: make sure it is:
• Considered
• Constructive
• Correct as far as you can (and)
• Refers to other people who may be able to help
• Say thank you promptly if someone helps you and be prepared to give full credit where credit's due.
  

Work is like that

• You may not know all the answers or even have the whole picture - consult, take advice - LISTEN TO THE ADVICE
• Sometimes the right answer is not the immediately correct answer
• Corollary: Sometimes the right answer for the business is not your suggested/preferred outcome
• Corollary: Just because you can do it like that in the real world doesn't mean that you can do it that way inside the business. [This realisation is INTENSELY frustrating but you have to learn to deal with it]
• DON'T ALWAYS DO IT YOURSELF - Attempt to fix the system, sometimes allow the corporate monster to fail - then do it yourself and fix it. It is always easier and tempting to work round the system and Just Flaming Do It but it doesn't solve problems in the longer term and may create more problems and ill-feeling than it solves.
  
  

  [Worked out for Andy Cater for himself after many years of fighting the system as a misguided missile - though he will freely admit that he doesn't always follow them as often as he should :) ]